Monday, March 29, 2010

Peter Cottontale is ready to see his Dad!

I feel like I'm taking a partial sigh of relief. The second part will come when Ryan arrives at our doorstep. The third will when we check Titus' iron again and it hopefully comes up. (I had to include that bc it's def on my prayer list...typical Mom here).

I am so not going to lie... the past few months have been challenging and rewarding all at the same time. We have been sick, busy and busy some more. I've missed my husband. I miss processing with him at night and of course sleeping next to him. I've missed cooking dinner (ok, that I'm sure will get old really quickly), going on dates, and of course sharing the parenting role together. I miss the balance he brings to my life. Titus has missed him too...he lights up when he hears his voice, and I think he needs some male instruction around.

I've enjoyed getting closer with friends, and understanding on a new level the experience of being a single mom. Ok, so I didn't enjoy being a single parent, but grew from it. I have a new appreciation of what single moms sacrifice and give. NOT. EASY...and if you had a single mom who did it... stop reading, call her and thank her for what she did on her own. (End of soap box). I enjoyed the simplicity of making decisions based on what T and I wanted to do. I enjoyed seeing precious kids at work each day and bonding even more with them. I enjoyed saving some money for our vacation. I enjoyed having Ryan visit.. we made a big deal of it and of course had a blast visiting in CA. I enjoyed going all out for Titus' birthday this year.. prob bc it was his first, and it Daddy was coming home after not seeing him for a month.

All in all... I NEVER want to do this again, but could if I had to. Please pray for a safe count down here. Thank goodness the past 90 days are coming to a close (or somewhere around there). I am so thankful God kept me busy, safe, and pretty upbeat for a Portland winter. Heaven knows that's a miracle in itself! Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. It has meant the world to me!

Sunday, March 28, 2010


Over at Grey Umbrella, she has a giveaway. Don't you love giveaways? I do, but what I love more is this quote. It seems timely for me. I think I would just change a couple things... like "Trust In Jesus" instead of yourself. Been there and got the t-shirt on trusting in myself...doesn't work!! Oh and "try everything once" needs to be within the context of your Bible! Enjoy and hop over and sign up!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

ear infections

Getting something like a tube put in my baby's ears does not sound like something I want to sign up for... but having ear infection after ear infection doesn't either. We are at number 4 and if he takes after his pops he will be headed to the ent soon. I don't even know why I act surprised when they tell me he still has fluid and one of the ears look pink... or both. It causes me to worry. this normal or is it something else. I really have had to take my thoughts captive. I struggle for sure in this area. Please pray for a season of healthiness. I know he is exposed to a TON.. community living and childcare center could not be worse (ehh.. i feel like a bad mom to expose him to that now), but here we are. Again.

So far the hardest thing for me and parenting is medical things.. when to go to the doctor.. what to do...what to push....what to ask.. how proactive to be and when to trust...when are they not contagious..or when I should become a hermit. Being a rookie mom seems like I have more questions than answers most days.

Please pray. We are weary and want this little man to be healthy and want to make the best decision for him.

Anyone out there with any motherly help in this department? I'd greatly appreciate it!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

spring cleaning and eating

Much to do..little time!! I've been on a "get stuff done" kick for the past week or so with some great fun mixed in. I think I have gone to bed before midnight only once this past week. From work, to motherhood, to birthday fun, to design, to planning, to time with friends and family, to and organizing different parts of the house, and menu planning...I have been a busy choice!

I must say that I am looking forward to having my husband home in so many ways. With a few things mixed in, I think we will be able to spend some awesome family time together reconnecting before the rat race of the semester will start for the summer. I am looking forward to sitting down and talking about what the next few months will look like. We are somewhat at a crossroads and it will be interesting to see where the Lord leads!

Time to garden, time to go to the parks in the evening and some good home cooked meals around the table is just what this family needs. Meals... I am in a cooking rut..except for the fact that I haven't cooked in a long time. I am looking forward to getting back into it. With that I'm over winter meals and ready to break out the fresh salads, grilled meat and veggies.

want to know my fav quick and easy recipe??

Island Chicken and Coconut Rice

1 lbs chicken breast cute in small pieces
teriyaki/pineapple marinade (I use Trader Joe's Island Soyaki)
green bell pepper chopped
fresh pineapple

Jasmine Rice
Coconut milk

In a frying pan combine chicken, bell pepper and pineapple. Cook until done.

In sauce pan add 1 cup of rice to 1 cup of water to 1 cup of coconut milk. When it starts to boil, lower temp to simmer with a lid.

Viola. Done in 20 min. It also tastes great with some steamed broccoli on the side

oh yes....My newest fav kitchen item is Ziploc steambags...they work like a charm to make those veggies soft for my tod!

Help.. any new spring recipes to share?!?!

I'm also in the market for a fresh italian pasta.. oh man am I hungry now?!

Monday, March 22, 2010


Photoshop. It sounds simple in the title but seems a bit more complicated than I thought. I recently split it with a design student friend (multiple downloads) and the rest is history. I've been scared to open it for a while, but decided it was time to take on the endeavor. Over.My.Head. I'm learning though. If I was a cat that had 9 lives I'd be a designer in one. I'd love to learn enough to make my own invitations, magnets, scrapbooks etc and there's no better place to start than tutorials. Please bare with me as I learn the ropes with my blog as my dummy.

So have you heard of Wow..the girl knows photoshop. Any othergood sites to help a sista out?

Thursday, March 18, 2010


The heartstrings pull hard. I must tell you (in not wanting to be negative) but my birthday last year was the absolute worst birthday of my life. It started out awesome. My cute little family going out for sushi with a sweet baby in the car seat. I was less swollen 10 days post surgery and feeling good. So I thought. Driving home from dinner I suddenly got the worst headache of my life.. pulsing pain. I felt like their was a dagger to my head. Immediately I started crying and screaming. Ryan drove fast and I went straight to the shower while he brought Titus in. Soon after we headed to the ER. The doctor asked me my DOB and I started sobbing. It was my birthday. I thought for sure I was dying. My life flashed before my eyes and all I could do was shake. After a CT that was clear the migraines started going away.. no for sure answers.. maybe bc of the epidural, really high amounts of pictocin in labor... maybe it was my bodies way of reacting to all the swelling.. maybe a form of post labor ecclampsia. Who knows. I wanted life more than ever in those moments.

Today was another scare. Titus had routine blood work at 1. The nurse called and told me the doctor wanted to see me about it. She wouldn't tell me what was wrong. Immediately I thought something was majorly wrong. I know life is fragile. Please no, was all I could think. Within minutes I was sick in the bathroom. I called back and talked to the receptionist. She asked me his DOB and I started sobbing. What is it with DOB's and me? The receptionist was a nice woman (God bless her) and went to find someone to help. She said to not be worried and just come in for the appointment...and that his iron was a little low. Titus has low iron and the dr. thinks it's ok. He will be on a therapeutic supplement and retest in 3 weeks. He feels it's common and the iron will come back up and said it was mild. I asked all the what ifs, and still have them lingering around. The fluid in his ears from Tues are now infected. A shot later, we will be headed the tube route if improvements don't happen. Life father, like son.

Beware becoming a mom.. your heart will never exist in your own body completely again.

Please pray for my little man. I know his life is in God's hands, but pray it's a long, healthy, and thriving one. Thanks friends.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


Sometimes I miss being young and irresponsible. There I said it. I'm still young...just not irresponsible (for the most part). For instance, while in college I studied overseas in Greece. It was amazing. I got to travel a ton while I was there. I am so so grateful I went, but I'm pretty sure the experience has more than created a longing to go back. Sometimes I think I can almost taste the food in my mouth... oh those dessert crepes were to die for... The sights I saw seem like a little postcard tucked away in my mind. Backpacking Europe was one of our "before we have kids" plans. All I can do is laugh now and think that motherhood will never start to compare to any European adventure! Ry and I both long to day. There's a few inhibitors here, but a girl can dream. If I thought Titus could handle space a (more like if the parents could) we'd go. I'm just not sure how Titus would fair on a plane packed with solidiers headed to Germany. Sounds like a bad dream. So instead I will be oh so thankful I went and hope that one day it will come around again!! My upcoming age change tells me I'm young, but I feel a bit older. Motherhood seems like a daunting task somedays. No lie. But, if I could articulate the feeling I get when my little boy is crying and reaches out his arms for me..and when I pick him up he hushes and leans his head on my shoulder could never compete with the Italian countryside.

The problem with it all... if I made the trip and left took in the sites with my rockin' husband... I wouldn't talk about the streets and sites.. I'd talk about the little guy at home. My remedy to it all you ask??

Disney World's "Epcot" with my little family. Ryan's even going to wear a "backpack." No one has to know there are sippy cups and diapers in it right?! Maybe I should wear a money belt when we visit Spain or something.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

it's tough being 1

He wasn't feeling the car, but preferred Dad's lap....
This is the cutest kid's haircut place ever....

new hair!

My child has been completely traumatized today. His little teething mouth was not in the best of spirits for the week. Joy. If I thought talking the tooth through the gum would help, I would have right before his birthday party. Today, I just knew I was in for it. On the playground, my wobbly tod took a fall to the face. His little nose looks a little red, but his little heart seem to take more of a fall. Mommy was holding him the rest of the day... until his well child check-up. 4 shots and routine blood drawing later.. my child was "fit to be tied." Now, this mommy knows someone needs some good sleep. Operation "goodbye paci" has been cancelled today..maybe eventually...but not on a day where 5 pricks are involved. Praise Jesus tomorrow is a brand new day!!

Maybe he's a bit grumpy, but his new hair is looking mature! Oh well, he is one after all!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

It's my party I can cry if I want to...

We have partied for this child royally!! I'm sure I went overboard, but I guess that's what first birthday of first children are all about. I'd like to think each year we will go all out, but who am I kidding?! The biggest thing I hope for my children is that they feel celebrated and know how grateful we are to have them all the time, but especially on their birthday whether we have a picnic in our living room with pb &j sandwiches or eat steak at Ruth Chris!


heaven knows I'll forget to fill in the calendar so here it is..

T..what up at 1?

- You walk... yippeee. You are wobbly but with each passing day you look less frankenstein walking.
- I asked you if you wanted a bottle last week and you nodded your head and may a ya sound... you also saw yourself in the mirror and said tyty... I think. It's hard to know when you do something once and wait awhile to ever do it again. Maybe I'm just hopeful.
- You are super clingy. You now cry when you go to the nursery and when I leave the room at work. This past weekend you have melted your Daddy's heart a million times bc all you want is him. You love him so much.
- You love to eat. The end.
- You hate sippy cups and prefer the cow's milk warmed up. I really feel like I'm creating a high maintenence child and want to refuse to do it... but I'm a sucker for you. Moms, help....
- You love to play with toys and you make some car sound with trucks and cars. How do you know how to do that? Heaven knows I haven't taught you.
- You got your first hair cut. You are dashingly handsome and look like a little boy. Tear. Thankfully, Mommy held it together and didn't cry... it will probably hit soon. Your mom now feels more comfortable styling your hair thanks to the help from the hair lady. She didn't know how to work boy's hair. The place we went to was call Sit Still and was so so so adorable. You didn't want to sit in the car so Dad just held you.
- You are getting 2 teeth in at the same time. It hurts you and you are grumpy. Poor thing. Poor us.
- You love to play with your friends at school. It is adorable to watch. Ya'll chase each other and LLLLLAUUUUUGH! Hearing you laugh does my heart good.

I love you T. This has been the most rewarding year of my life. I love you so much. And.. can you hold off on the whole opinions thing.. I'm not quite ready. Ha!



Friday, March 12, 2010

the video :)

Thanks friends and family for your love and support. We so wish each of you were here with us to celebrate, but thank you for thinking about us from afar. We love and miss you!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Hope. Transformation. Total life recovery.

I am participating in Kelly's Korner.. my fav charity.....

My favorite charity happens to be the place I work! I work for the women's division of the Portland Rescue Mission. The Portland Rescue mission is all about life transformation through the saving grace of Jesus Christ. Shepherd's Door is the women's and children's branch of PRM. Many of these women are off the streets in recovering from all sorts of abuse and addictions. It breaks my heart to hear the stories of their past... but what brings great joy to my heart is hearig about their future. Our director of PRM mentioned the other day that "we are just not that good" in reference to US changing the women (and men through the men's division)... this life change happens because Jesus gets in there and does a work in their lives. The most beautiful thing I get to see is watching mothers come to know Christ and learn not only how to meet the physical and emotional needs of their child, but the spiritual as well. This organization has integrity and calls its employees to the same standards. I love that. I feel so blessed to work at a place where I am with my child during the time I am working, but also where I can share how Jesus has changed my own life.

For more information check out their website.. my favorite part of the website is watching the women's videos here. They call this stories of hope. The best part is I get to see for myself the women on these videos.. and it is true..God is at work here!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Happy birthday to my sweet little man

What on earth do I say to sum up the past year? It's been a year of great joy, challenging- uncertain times, precious moments, and lots of growth. If I could go back and relive Titus' first year over and over I'd do it in a heartbeat. I loved having a baby, but am reminding myself tonight how much each stage offers amazing things...

Dear Sweet Baby Boy,

We did it! Your first birthday is here and I have so many thoughts going through my head... "I made it... I have a toddler.. I loved this year... God has been so good.. I know how to be a mom... You like me.. You're so cute.. I'll never be so small again... you're so much fun.. I love your laugh and your voice" are all thoughts I'm pondering tonight. I thought I'd lose it all during the day, but it's just not allowed the time.. which was probably good. Now, I have time to think and soak in the beauty and joy of having a 1 year old. I think I will get you up soon and snuggle you for the last bit before your day starts.

There's great fun and joy to be had this year. The mother in me longs and prays for a healthy and safe year.. I will always do this. I pray your angels won't grow tired and weary from how fast and busy you are. I am dreaming of all the memories we will make as we continue to parent and shepherd your little heart. I look forward hopefully listening to you sing bible songs this year and teaching you different things. I can wait to get the sprinkler out this summer and chase you through it. I'm dreaming of fun picnics to the park and pushing you on a swing. So many good times to be had.

We've had so many good times. The moment I first laid eyes on you I determined that if I fail at everything else in life I want most to be a good wife and mother (they go hand in hand). You were so precious and fragile, your Dad and I hardly slept for fear you would forget to breathe. I will never forget waking up every 30 minutes only to see your Dad standing over you making sure you were breathing. He loves you so much. Thanks for your patience with us this year. We're still so new at so many things.

Titus, you are a joy and delight. We pray that you will love Jesus. He's more than my words can do justice. Whatever you decide to be.. wherever you go.... whoever you become... we will always love you. Thank you so much for making me a mom. The labor was so worth it!

In your cheering stands for life,


the video below will be at his party, but for his family who can't make it (stinking miles) I wanted to share this on his's coming...

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

the start

My water broke a year ago tomorrow.... March 10th. I'm hoping I don't wet my pants or something in memory. Only kidding. Whew.. I can remember it like yesterday. I walked into my doctor's office SO OVER being pregnant. I was sitting at 3cm dilated for a couple of weeks. I was sure I was going to have this child LIKE 2 weeks ago. Right. I did the routine.... pee in a cup get weighed (I know they are checking to make sure everything is ok, but shouldn't women get paid for this at 40 weeks pregnant?!?).. check my blood pressure and the "check." Everything was completely normal as my doctor checked things out. At this point she felt sweeping my membranes would be beneficial once again. Om yes, that hurt and then I felt a gush. I started to cry even though I knew I was ready to have this baby. She accidentally nicked my water. Lovely. I got cleaned up and geared up to go get my bags and head to the hospital. It was a God-thing that my mother-in-law was with me to drive me home to grab my bags. Funny that I had my bag completely packed and sitting on my bed...complete with my make up and chi in there (those pics will haunt you.....don't look like death was the advice I heard).

By the time I got there Ryan was home running around in a freenzy. "Om, hello.. you can't be the one freaking out.. I'm leaking here was all I could think." Good thing someone was calm... bless his heart. As I tried to hurry him along, I knew my mom would be flying in that evening and I didn't want her to be cold staying in our basement so I carried a stand up heater down our basement stairs. Probably the stupidest thing I've ever done. I take heart knowing my angels helped me not to fall, but I won't do it again. (Our basement stairs are very steep and scary). So off to the hospital we went. I was also thinking since I was already a 3 this baby would def be here by late that night. Granted, my biggest fear was that I would have to push by the time my husband got his bag packed and we made it to the hospital. Wrong again.

That started the longest day(s) of my life. If I've learned anything it's that 1) every body and baby is different.. esp in delivery. 2) epidurals are aaaaaaaammazing. amazing amazing amazing. 3) the reward is worth it.

so enough about the past... although I'm pretty sure I was traumatized for life, and here's to the next few days of celebrating my fav 21 pounder.

and happy birthday to my sweet sis-in-law, Kim..tomorrow!! :)

Sunday, March 7, 2010

i need my man around here!

I think this past weekend I've come to realize why God made me a woman and my husband a man. This afternoon was the climax when I looked in the mirror and saw an array of bronzer lines all over my face. Not cute! You are probably wondering what that has to do with needing my husband at my own residency more than emotional support. I can't change the light bulb on our fan. I don't even know what kind it is or where to get it. If I somehow managed to find that I'm afraid I'd shock myself in the process. So I'm just waiting until he visits soon! I guess I need to use the bathroom lights until we get this fixed! I have some great family help that could do this in 2 sec, but since Ry will be home soon I'll let him take care of it! :)

We are on the final countdown and it feels so good! I think we have both been too busy to sit and let the time pass slowly. Between work and an almost 1 year old there is not a moment to spare until I get him to bed at night. Then it's time for a moment of sanity! This past weekend I came down with a virus. I though it was food poisoning until 5 others got it...2 being babies who don't eat solids! Thank goodness somethings only last 24 hrs! It was a doozy...big time.

Whew.. better get some dinner on the highchair! :) Happy weekend. :)

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

happy birthday to MIMI!!!

Mom said this would be the next best thing since we can't be there. I love you and look forward to eating lots of cake with you in the years to come on birthdays!



Monday, March 1, 2010

2 years..

2 years ago today I was...well right at this moment my new husband.... and I were waiting for the honeymoon suite in our wedding attire. Yes, waiting.. a whole 3-4 hrs in a hotel lobby in downtown Charleston. I'm glad we can laugh about it now. You see we were staying in the honeymoon suite on the Charleston Harbor. I won't mention the name of the hotel, but there were some baseball coaches in town that refused to leave their suite on the cleaning ladies were gone for the day and there we waited until they finally got it together. My handsome groom so kindly kept assuring me it would be just another 30 min based on what they said. I was feeling kind of like bridezilla towards the end! Needless to say... we got our $300 dollar room for free. "True Love" is worth the wait! :) I guess it helped pay for the millions of pregnancy tests I took just 4 short months later!

A funny story, but I must say God shined down on the wedding of my dreams that day. It was the most perfect day ever. 75 degrees...sunny skies... and at the plantation I had dreamed of getting married at since I was 7 years old. I went to camp there when I was little and so so wanted to get married there. It was amazing to see the only weekend we could get married (Ryan was finishing his undergrad at 25) bc of Ryan's spring break and enough time away from 2 very pregnant sis in laws due dates, was one of the only weekends open at the plantation. It all came together and I felt like a princess.

The past 2 years Ryan and I have g-r-o-w-n. We got a dose of life pretty quickly, but I wouldn't trade that little life for all the time with just the two of us in the world. We've learned what it means to be a prioritize... to trust when we had no idea what the plan will look like and to become one. I am more in love with Ryan today that I've ever been. God showed me so much favor when he gave me my husband. We are so so so beyond perfect, but journeying toward the image of Christ. We argue, we hurt one another's feelings, we have fun, we laugh, we have great conversations, we're passionate, and we're best friends.

Happy 2 years Ry. Thanks for making me an Epp.